This blog on boundaries is actually an excerpt from Choose Well, a book written by Margaret Marie. She is counselor, speaker, author, and advocate, who is very knowledgeable on trauma. Boundaries are an important part of emotional healing for anyone that has experienced PTSD or secondary trauma. The question “How do I stop reliving my past?” comes up often, and one solution to this would be to set appropriate boundaries. Read this segment from Choose Well (p. 59 – p.60) below.
Boundaries as Walls
We need to build healthy walls around thoughts that we allow to stay in our minds. How much garbage are we going to allow into our thought life? Are there attitudes and belief systems that we hold onto that cause us to set unhealthy boundaries around our thoughts? As we already discussed, it takes a person years to develop abstract thinking, variety of perception, and even simple notions of safety and comfort: by the same token we need to allow ourselves time to practice new principles of healthy thought processes. It may take diligent practice to master, but with God all things are possible.
Which attitudes and beliefs are you holding onto that are determining what choices you make about a healthy thought life and actions?
p.59
It is important to remember that attitudes and beliefs are driven by emotions.
There are many feelings that we are able to learn to deal with in a healthier manner through boundaries on our thinking patterns. How do we do that? Through persistence, and resistance! When thoughts flood into your mind that bring you back to a place you do not want to be anymore…you have to say “STOP” to the thoughts and choose not to dwell on it or to believe it.
To learn more about how to set needed boundaries go to Margaret Mare’s website at http://margaretmarie.com/ and buy Choose Well and buy her books at http://margaretmarie.com/shop-books/
Margaret received her masters in science degree in psychiatric rehabilitation counseling from Syracuse University in Syracuse, NY. Margaret is a credentialed counselor with an extensive clinical background working with individuals with various kinds of mental and emotional disabilities and who have come from abusive families. Margaret spent many clinical hours counseling people with substance and alcohol abuse issues. She is a survivor of 47 years of living with abuse and violence. She is an avid speaker in schools, churches and other community agencies. She speaks against violence in our homes and lives. Her message is simple. “Your life has a divine purpose whether you are aware of that purpose or not. You can make choices for your life that will fulfill that divine purpose. I encourage you to choose to forgive, heal, and move forward with your life. Overcome your circumstances; do not let your circumstances overcome you!”